Lessons I Learn ...

discovery of self and the world

A bit more about me ...

First, this is not an ego trip via a blog, or two blogs in this case.

If you are at www.stephencarey.com, you will find some of the lessons I have learned and am still learning, as I first faced a six year battle with cancer, and now continue to deal with the severe chronic pain, plus the various surgeries and "procedures" to repair things damaged by the treatments which I chose in my effort to enter into remission.

In this six year battle with cancer, which is only now considered in remission, I was on a few rough chemo drugs, meaning I gave myself an injection every day for a year, then, four months on, three months off. Now, I take a more known chemo drug, but in pill form; one which I will be on for as long as I live. The amazing thing about this drug is that the bald head in the picture, of which I have never let bother me for even a moment, is now out of date, for it seems this drug grows baby hair on the top of the head. Then, the baby hair seems to give way to normal adult hair, which matches what was there a decade ago. Kind of cool, but not earth shattering, for I would give up the drug if I thought I could keep the cancer away.

If you happen to be on www.stephencarey.net, you will see that after bouncing around a bit, never sure of a true direction for the site, I have finally found that direction or course for the site. When I began the site it was really a series of random posts, they are good and noteworthy, but they do not tie things together; and, I prefer to tell stories. In this case I want to use this blog and its posts to examine the many voices which would still never be heard by the world, were it not for the Internet, the Web, and the growth of social tools.

The reason for these sites:

No, in no way does the world revolve around me, not even in my, at times, rather out of control id.

Yet, we (me) seem to want to share a bit about ourselves to the world. Actually, that statement is silly. There is no "world" to see this. It may be seen by a few friends and others as they sift through all of the silliness and seriousness which can be found on the Web. But, it is not the world. The many tribes in the Amazon region don't give one thought about any of this. Those not fortunate enough to even put food on the table do not care about this. Somehow, it seems to be a way to belong; and, for me, a way to stay connected through technology to the many new voices to which I have access. With that in mind, on www.stephencarey.com, I share my experiences with my fight with cancer and the extreme chronic pain, not for pity, but, to support anyone else who may be going through something similar in some form or fashion.

Also, I look for other takes on what I have chosen to write about. I love learning, and I am always open to listening and learning about the other side of issues which I may care about. That brings dialogue, and that brings education, and that brings a populace more likely to work with each other rather than against one another.

One last site:

Let's start at where we go to recharge after chemo, work, and just because we need to leave our home for our taste of heaven. Our place to relax is in Costa Rica. We saw it, and stopped looking at any other properties. For us, this is perfection. Take a look:

http://www.atriptoparadise.com Yes, there can be heaven on Earth.

All the best, and as you travel the Web, I wish you traveling mercies.

Lessons I learn: Discovery of self and the world by Stephen Carey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.stephencarey.com.

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Being run over by a truck, or so it seems!

I have yet to find in any of my friends the lacking of the experience of feeling like they have been hit by a truck. It may be a physical feeling, such as running a marathon, or, an emotional (brain, soul, id, ego) pain, sometimes, sad to say, it may be both at one time.

For me, this happened again this past week. I ended up back in the hospital for, sorry for the expression, tossing my cookies. Now, this did happen once. No, it went on 4 and one half days. It was a non-stop ordeal. Though, in the end, I am doing fine.

How does being run over by a truck fit into this situation? Two ways. One, it takes a lot out of the physical body to toss their cookies about 6 times an hour ( remember, the tossing doesn't happen once per episode, but puts the body through a number of heaves).

This adds up to 96 hours, then we add the approximately 6 times of tossing per hour and we get 576 episodes of tossing cookies. The last hours things were finally under control. I was fed via tubes and given gallons of water and many, many injections of what I call, "Stop the Cookies" drugs.

The emotional part is a bit harder to grasp in explaining my emotions about this most recent visit to the hospital.

1) I get upset, for this is due to the massive amount of radiation we had to use to keep me alive - cool, but, man, does it get old.

2) I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself. I was in a state-of-the-art hospital, with a great staff and my doctors. Do I have any real right to gripe to myself when I understand that so many millions on this planet are starving for food, shelter, even water, plus, any kind of real medical care?

In my world, I believe it is okay to be a bit pissed about being so ill. However, I don't stay there, instead, I move out of my pity and find a way to help those who need food, water, work, medical help and so much more.

For me, this is my key to staying sane through the extreme chronic pain and the other health issues brought on by great doctors saving my life. I do understand that I am very blessed to live in a place where I can be medically treated. I have it good, very good.

At least that is how I view things..

Oct
30